The Trifecta of Thrilling Truths

I have some extra time on my hands these days because I am not gallivanting around town so much due to the pandemic.  I am not sure when I will be able to resume my shenanigans of checking out festivals and arts, but I do know that I am figuring out a new way to explore.  Exploring is one of the most important life experiences I enjoy.

In my daily writing, I enjoyed a 'ah ha!' moment of sorts: figuring out what makes a happy day for me.  I came up with three things that when experienced, I can tag as a banner day:

• Learning
• Laughter
• Love

If I have the opportunity to learn at least one thing over the course of the day, I'm good.  Imagine my joy when it is chock full of new knowledge!  Just the other day on my Daytripping with Denny K outing to Woonsocket, I learned a whole mess of things in just one part of the Ocean State (aka Rhode Island).  Imagine my excitement when I think about the other 38 cities and towns in the state to explore!

Who doesn't like a good laugh out loud moment?  Whether it is watching one of my favorite shows on PBS Rhode Island - The Durrells in Corfu - or scrolling through some silly animal posts on Instagam, I just a good guffaw like the next guy.

Lastly, love.  I get to feel it everyday of my life.  It could be a pleasant exchange with someone at the park (from six feet away, of course!) or a text from a friend.  An exchange of well wishes and care fills my heart to an almost bursting level.

What are your three thrilling truths?  

Another lesson learned that helps me when I am in pickle is the following question:  Will I regret doing it or not regret doing it?  That simple question has helped me figure out some important decisions.

So, here is a bit of a homework assignment for you: go out and learn something.  Try looking up Rupi Kaur, find out what a amphisbaena is, and who makes THE BEST chocolate in the world (hint: it doesn't start with an "H").

And, try not to laugh watching this funny cat video! Oh, and why not send a little love text to a special someone, just because.  I'm telling you, your day will be amazing!

Finding Things

This morning, I cried.

I looked at one of the final boxes that I had not unpacked after moving to Rhode Island a year ago, and something caught my eye.  I almost dismissed the need to open it thinking it was just some of this and that.

Well, I couldn't be more wrong.

In that box, it was filled with memories and precious things.

Things like reminders of the good work I have done in the world that I buried under my self-esteem, my forgetting due to shame.  I also found artifacts from my darling daughter's early years.  Things like mementos from her first birthday and other babyhood treasures.

I also found my missing Christmas ornaments. I thought that they were lost forever, and with them, some of my herstory.

I cried and cried.

Last holiday season, as Lila and I began our tradition of decorating our tree in our new home for the first time, I couldn't find my precious ornaments.  My heart deflated and sadness filled it back up.

I love my things.  I know it isn't very zen of me but my things have stories attached to them. And, I only keep things that have good stories.  Like my red velvet chair that I have moved countless times.  It reminds me of when I arrived in Portland, Oregon in the fall of 1995.  Starting one of the biggest adventures of my adult life.  It was one of the first pieces of furniture I purchased for myself. Like my $20 paper Ikea lamp that I purchased on a shopping trip with my friend, Carla. She is my favorite travel companion and one of the most generous souls I know. It is with me here in Providence.  Like the butterfly ceramic cup that my longtime friend, Dottie, gave to me during our last visit in Pennsylvania a few months ago. I have known her since 1987 and we remain friends.  The sculpture I picked up in Baltimore, Maryland when I went to visit Lesley, a friend who is no longer in my life due to some unspoken hurt. But I have that art that I look at everyday and I am reminded of that visit in 2007, when life was really shitty but that visit brought me joy.

The list goes on and on.

We are warned not to be attached to our material things but mine are filled with love and I wouldn't change it for the world. It is my history and reminds me to a certain degree of my belonging, especially when I feel lonely, forgotten, invisible.

I quickly sent a text to my darling daughter about the find and she is thrilled, too.  In four months, we will stand by our second tree since moving to Rhode Island and decorate it with our history.  I know that there will be moments of tears because of some much that is behind us but there will also be joy because we are together making a new history.

This is a lesson for me. A lesson that the impossible can certainly be possible, which is something that I will always need reminding, especially during times of transition.  What I love about that is, it is like a little treasure of goodness that can fill a room with hope.

Merry Christmas!

Out of the fear comes...

An interesting switching of gears these past few days.  I don't know what the triggers have been to choose this path of darker reflections.  Perhaps I  have been spending too much time on social media and reading the wrong headlines in the news!

Out of fear and anxiety comes loving, caring gestures.  That's how I like to see it.  When you put vulnerable self out there and people respond with caring words and acts, it is a reminder of the goodness that can be found in humanity.

It is a demonstration of love to be direct about it.  Every act - whether small or over the top - is an act of love when the intention comes from a loving heart.

I wrestled with buried anxiety this past week - stuff that I thought was long gone.  And when it came back up, the voice of loving reason was LOUDER than the voice of fear.  This, my friend, is a really good thing.

I am dedicated to the belief and practice that love will conquer all.  I will stand by that value and continue to walk that talk as often as I can.

Love wins. Always.

Love & Loneliness

There's a loneliness that can creep up on me when I least expect it.  I live alone in a city that is new to me, so there's no wonder it sneaks up on me.  It feels bigger than life sometimes when I am ill or when I feel afraid.

I admit, it is difficult to see the love in those kinds of moments.  But love - like the moon and the sun - is always present even if you can't see it.  My daughter is several hundred miles away but I can feel her love because it is ever-present and part of me.

I suppose self-love is also about welcoming the 'scaries' in some capacity because that kind of stuff lingers as much as joy can fill the air.  It is all about the ebb and flow of grieving and of celebration. It is the human experience.

It is comforting to constantly reminding myself that this, too, shall pass...whatever 'this' is in the moment....and also know that love is my rock-solid foundation and will help keep my face in the sun.

The love of living the day

The love of living the day as fully as possible is a daily pursuit for me. Waking up in the morning to do my practice of writing, reflection, and meditation is an expression of love - for myself. It is my form of self-care. I am blessed with a profound freedom of choosing how to live today. That act is easier to realize when the stressors and anxiety are low; by pursuing the practice of the practice, I am strengthening my muscles for the inevitable future of struggle and pain. The practice is in the present but the rewards are realized now and later. I am grateful for the time and space to explore these ways of living. Gratitude is both an internal and external expression of love, too. I am grateful for the ability to start my day off with a mindful presence.

Art by Melissa Harris

Connecting with strangers

We often hear that we should teach our children about 'stranger danger' and that makes sense, to a certain degree, and I wonder how we unlearn that messaging when we become adults?

I find one of the most charming experiences in life is talking with someone I don't know, a stranger.  Whether it is a moment shared while waiting for the light signal to change or walking to your car with another volunteer talking about the theater you support. 

Just last night, I met another volunteer usher with Trinity Rep. I started volunteering there soon after arriving in Providence.  We walked together to our cars last night after assisting at the theater and she shared that she is a case worker for the state of Rhode Island.  That caught my attention because of my work as a fundraiser for Kinship House, an outpatient mental healthcare agency for foster and adoptive children in Portland, OR.  We had a commonality.  Her genuine spirit was light and loving although she carries the weight of dealing with heart wrenching circumstances in her work in the world. 

In our brief exchange, we shared a little bit of who we are with one another. And although we agreed to catch up the next time we crossed paths, with a likelihood it will not happen, it is a loving human experience that I will carry with me.

Last night, two strangers became acquaintances. Who knows, maybe someday we will become friends.  It could happen.  This is Rhode Island, you know. Our experience offered us the chance to share a piece of our heart and soul with one another in a brief connection.  Just because.

 

An intention to inspire: Love and Kindness

A few months back, I treated myself to one of those monthly subscription services called Lunarly.  Each month, I received a package that contains a plant, a crystal or special rock, some self-care products, and an intention...all of which are based on the New Moon cycle.  I love it!

Each morning, I write a reflection on the month's intention.  It provides an opportunity to really go deep on a specific topic or issue.  I do this on top of my morning journal writing and evening gratitude reflection.  I am learning a lot about how I can best navigate life's challenges and celebrate the joys.

Moving forward, I hope to share some of those writings here on my Direct Living blog because it is very much in line with the intention of living a life as directly as you can by understanding your deepest essence. Perhaps you may recognize a similar journey or be prompted to pursue the same practice.  Enjoy and I'd love to hear your thoughts!

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Love is...a friend (or two!) who give you a call when you least expect it.  Love is...thoughtfully assembling a few birthday surprises to ship to a friend across the country.  Love is...convening a social outing group for your new friends so other women can also pursue fun activities that they might not know about and make a few new pals. Love is...recognizing my own needs for self-care and joyful living.  It is reminding myself that the day will be filled with challenges and joy - no doubt about that!  Love is...taking note that I get to choose how to see and feel each of my experiences and determine how I will move forward - and through - those experiences. Love is...believing and knowing that all is well.  Love is...welcoming the lessons and learning from them.

 

“Life is not about how fast you run or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.” – Vivian Komori