Negative Nellie & Little Miss Susie Sunshine

How do you balance love of a friend and the need to share something that most likely will be unpleasant with someone you care for? I know that I have languished in a dark place or two due to many reasons over the years - and it is necessary to visit that space - but what to do when you a think a friend keeps returning to the Hole of Despair and almost embraces it like a long lost friend?

Do I give her the space to be in that frame of mind and just "be there" for when she emerges on the other side? Or, is it part of my loving kindness to call it out in the open? This is something I think about often. I struggle with my need to 'fix it' but on the other side of it, I want to look a positive ways to tackle life challenges. Is it a one-size-fits-all approach? Unlikely. I suppose the best approach would be to bring it up and see where the conversation goes but that is being vulnerable (aka dang scary).

I thinking of times in the past when I shared fears and anxiety about how I was feeling in a friendship and then, it seemed like the person disappeared in few weeks. I've been reluctant to give it a go as a result, but then again, I want strive to be my true self when it comes to my close relationships.

The conundrum!
The quandary!

I'm going to sit on this for a bit and I'll get back to you about how it all turned out.

via GIPHY

Connecting with strangers

We often hear that we should teach our children about 'stranger danger' and that makes sense, to a certain degree, and I wonder how we unlearn that messaging when we become adults?

I find one of the most charming experiences in life is talking with someone I don't know, a stranger.  Whether it is a moment shared while waiting for the light signal to change or walking to your car with another volunteer talking about the theater you support. 

Just last night, I met another volunteer usher with Trinity Rep. I started volunteering there soon after arriving in Providence.  We walked together to our cars last night after assisting at the theater and she shared that she is a case worker for the state of Rhode Island.  That caught my attention because of my work as a fundraiser for Kinship House, an outpatient mental healthcare agency for foster and adoptive children in Portland, OR.  We had a commonality.  Her genuine spirit was light and loving although she carries the weight of dealing with heart wrenching circumstances in her work in the world. 

In our brief exchange, we shared a little bit of who we are with one another. And although we agreed to catch up the next time we crossed paths, with a likelihood it will not happen, it is a loving human experience that I will carry with me.

Last night, two strangers became acquaintances. Who knows, maybe someday we will become friends.  It could happen.  This is Rhode Island, you know. Our experience offered us the chance to share a piece of our heart and soul with one another in a brief connection.  Just because.