To be honest, I really didn't know where
to start. Does this story begin today or a few weeks ago? Or, did
it all begin earlier this year?
I suppose I will start with the latter as
I have a tendency to think about stories based on some kind of major life
event.
In January 2016 I found myself,
unemployed. Again. This turned out to be quite a different experience by contrast
to the first time I was ever laid off a year and a half ago. I thought I
was prepared based on my previous experience, like putting on a familiar but
uncomfortable sweater.
I was wrong.
So much has happened in the past 11
months-some good and some not so good. I applied to 127 jobs and
interviewed 33 times (interviews that didn't include 2nd and 3rd interviews for
a few of those jobs). So many people told me that my 'numbers' were great. It didn't feel so great. It felt demoralizing
and I slid in and out of mild depression during that time.
It was a time of real struggle for
me. I battled hopelessness and really
struggled to hold my head up during that time of despair. I am one of those people who align much of
who I am with my professional identity.
If I didn't have a job, who was I in the world?
Even though my interview numbers were high
and would lead you to believe that is all I did between January and August,
that would not be true. I did all kinds of things outside of job seeking:
visited Manzanita, my favorite place on the coast several times; went out to
hear some great classical music performed in Lauralhurst Park; spent time
having fun with my twelve year old daughter, Lila; returned to a passionate
pursuit: community radio; I learned about my depression and how to deal
with it; and, I enjoyed time with dear friends. We shared meals together and we
took hikes in such glorious places like the forests near Mt. Hood. All of these things helped me remember to be
hopeful and to climb out of depression.
I also spent a lot of that time reading,
meditating and reflecting on what all of "it" could mean. Well,
I already knew that it totally sucked. I guess my point is, with all the ups
and all the downs, what kind of lessons were made available to me at that time that
could teach me something?
My luck started to change just as my
unemployment benefits were about to end.
The day after my last check from the State of Oregon was deposited, I
secured a temporary, part-time job. The
timing was impeccable. Just as I was
starting to think I might have to sell my home and move to some non-descript
town in rural Texas because I couldn't afford to live in Portland any longer! Within
the month of starting, I then found a full-time, permanent job. I landed
in a fundraising position with a non-profit in Portland. My work motivates me
to really engage in my life in a meaningful way as it is all about helping
foster and adopted children.
Recently, I've been rehashing what it
means to be jobless and finally finding a dream job. But the initial experience
has me still scratching my head. On my first week on my new job, I developed
my very first cold sore (ick!) and experienced my first bout of bursitis.
Once both healed, I was then a victim of debit card fraud.
Fortunately, the thief only depleted my account by a little over a hundred
bucks, but the time claiming my new card and reclaiming my stolen money was a
pain in the butt.
After such an eventful few weeks, I
thought I was set for some drama-free time. You would think that's
possible, right?
Wrong.
The next crisis struck. It was a
regular Tuesday morning when I heard a strange noise in the bathroom walls.
It sounded like a constant drip but after checking out some
troubleshooting suggestions made by a few of my Facebook pals, I discovered
that the water line to my house burst. Not a fun discovery, particularly
at 6 a.m. in your pajamas making your way through spider webs and bushes!
Fortunately, the City came out and turned
off the water for me in a short time and then I turned to figure out a way to
get it repaired.
Now, here are a couple of thoughts that
came to mind during the drama:
- As soon
as the telltale feeling of helplessness set in, I heard my (new) self-talk
telling me to 'quit whining and get that water back on'. This is
HUGE because it would have taken at least two phone calls to friends, and
several hours ruminating on how screwed I was, before I found that inner
'take care of business' attitude I needed to fix things.
- As we jumped
in the car to head out to school and work, my daughter remarked,
"Mom. I am so impressed with how calm you are right now."
In the past, I would have demonstrated quite the opposite reaction.
I found both reflections quite interesting.
Is it possible that all the meditation and breathing practices are paying
off?
I reached out to my network and found a
plumber who came by that day. Still, it
would be three days before we would have running water in the house.
In the meantime, something beautiful happened.
My neighbors gave my daughter and I full
access to their house so we could shower, do dishes and get fresh water.
I felt calm about when I learned the cost of the water main repairs. I
had a credit card - thank goodness! Yet a nagging voice kept talking in
my head tempting me to freak out. Instead, I got clever. I fought back with more positive self-talk to
stay calm and encouraged me to look for solutions. I figured out a potential
way to help offset the expenses. I figured out that I could ask for help and
it might come my way.
I had no idea.
I had no idea.
I was inspired to set up a GoFundMe
campaign because I learned that it was going to cost me about $2300 to fix the
problem. I sweetened the pitch for support by offering to volunteer one
hour for each $100 raised. I thought it would be a nice way to continue a
ripple effect of any donations I received through the campaign.
Within a few hours a friend made the first
donation and later called me to share the stunning news that her real estate
colleagues also agreed to donate to my campaign. After it was all said and done, 70% of the
total money raised came from her network of brokers. All of which were people I'd never met. I am still blown away by the kindness of
these strangers and all of my friends who also donated to it. It was overwhelming to learn along with
strangers, even friends who were unemployed, participated. Within two days of
launching my campaign, over 70 people decided to help someone in need. As a result, I'll be donating 24 hours of my
time doing all kinds of volunteer work from training someone on how to make a
podcast, to phone banking for the Democratic party, to helping out at a food
bank.
And then there was a major 'woo woo'
moment during the last few hours of the campaign. I was parking my car to head
into the bank to deal with the last details of my debit card fraud situation
when I spotted someone drive by who looked remarkably like someone I had not
seen in about 10 years. I went into the
bank and was pinged by my campaign with the notice that I hit goal. When I looked at the final donation record, guess
who made it? Yup, the person I haven't
seen in a decade. To top it all off, in
the wake of the water pipe drama, other friends gifted me with a weekend visit
to Manzanita. They had no idea that the previous week, I had just canceled a
future trip to my favorite place due to some other financial challenges I was
managing.
The entire experience was remarkable. I am sharing it because of the messages I
spotted in the middle of all of that mess:
people are kind beyond imagination and just when the poop storm hits there
are beautiful moments to be cherished in spite of life's grand messes.
So what have I learned from all of this? It
is true - ask and you will receive.
Sometimes, you are also given gifts you don't ask for because people are
just like that. People are loving and generous, just because.
