Let's Make Lemonade

One of my favorite summertime drinks is lemonade.  You take something that is awfully sour and turn it into something sweet.  You can even jazz it up with some ingredients like lavender or liquor.  What a beautifully versatile drink.

I think lemonade and life have a lot in common:  You can change it up depending on what you add to it or keep it just as it is.  I am the type of gal who likes to mix it up, I've come to learn.  But with anything out of the familiar, it is a risk, and risk-taking can provide some big wins or big losses.

When I was younger, I wasn't as cautious about a lot of things.  I think that is the case for many of us.  We learn to be fearful as we grow older and I lost my optimism and throw-caution-to-the-wind attitude over the years.  Many people who know me would gasp at such a reflection but I struggled for many years trying to regain an inner sense of my can-do attitude.  

It took a lot of work over a period of time, but I got my groove back.  It is how I moved across the country to a city I've never been to; how I followed my passion to produce a podcast about the arts and find some funding to help support it; it is how I committed to writing a book for women over 40 who think the world can go eff itself for thinking it can pretend we don't exist or matter.  

One of my always present intentions is to make choices that make me proud but also my daughter proud.  A lesson or nugget of wisdom I hope to share with her is to dream big and go for it.

Over the past year or so, I have made it a point to welcome failure as one of the realities to embrace.  No one I know likes that "F" word.  With baby steps, I have been pausing to look at what didn't work and find the wisdom I can carry forward from the experience. And it is due to that shift in perspective that has led me to pursue something I have wanted to do for eons but lacked the confidence to do it: launch my own business!

After years in the nonprofit sector, I've learned a thing or two, and the knowledge applies in any part of the country.  I am taking my two decades plus of across-the-board experience and offering it to organizations who want to raise the bar on getting their message out into the world.  All nonprofits want to do that but lack the capacity to do it.  My role is focusing support for those who lack the resources.

More to come later!  I have a plethora of skills that came out of success and failure.  I remind myself that we have to fail in order to learn.

I'm failing my way to happiness.

Today, there is no room for worthlessness

Mark Nepo is one of my favorite philosophers, poets, writers, and he happens to be an all-around great guy.  I have been reading his book - The Book of Awakening - since I discovered it five years ago.  It fills my spirit each and every time that I read it.  And, I learn something each time I read it.

In his reflection on June 15, it feels like I am right there with him as he reflects on how he used to struggle with the challenges of life and then realizing with great joy, that life is perfect in the moment he is living as a man running on the streets of New York City and grabbing a hot dog for lunch.

I really got to thinking about that passage of thought as I navigate a bit of grief over the transition of leaving a job that I have been so proud to do for the past three years.  And it is grief, I'm not going to kid myself.  I know the last day on the job is going to be a tough one and I have made a note to do some really comforting things for myself that weekend.

The roller-coaster that is Life is one heck of a ride. One part excitement to check out a new adventure and one part freaking out because my job ends on August 2.  I don't want to be someone who lives a life within the margins.  I don't believe I ever did want that kind of life experience.  There are days when you are stuck in the muck of living and days you soar in current of freedom.  What a privilege!

There a days to wallow and there are days to fly.  I think I will strive to take flight.

Secret of Life #06112019

Failing Towards Happiness

I have a new BFF, although she doesn't know it yet.  I learned about the powerhouse that is Rachel Hollis somehow, someway, but I can't recall the initial introduction to her work in the world.

Most excellent podcast!

I put her book, "Girl, Wash Your Face: Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are so You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be", on hold at the library and once I received it,  I think I read in about 3 hours, tops.  I am now listening to her podcast, "Rise", and just listened to her episode about failure.  I am sure I will re-listen to it at least 37 more times because it is the elephant in my room these days.

I also watched a Tedx talk by Natalie Butto Wills about how problems fuel our creativity that leads to innovation.  I consider failure a bit of a problem, so I am getting creative about it!

Here's why.

As many of you know, I took big risk of moving to Providence, RI - sight unseen - and it has been an epic adventure over the past 7+ months.  I know I am still new to the city (and likely will be considered as such for at least the next ten years), but I feel that I have found my people and the vibe of the city resonates with me.

Me and Liam hitting the road

What I now face has to do with my livelihood (aka getting a new job).  This is a big one for me because of some real obvious reasons...I need to eat, pay my rent...that important stuff.  I also attach my professional life to my identity (or, vice versa).  It is as tightly wedged in there as how I feel about my place in the world as a mother, a friend, and being an entrepreneur (*).

I've been telecommuting for my job that I held in Portland, Oregon and although it makes sense to transition out of it for many wise reasons, I have attached a great deal of anxiety and fear about making that particular change in my life.  You know how it rolls, that damn Negative Nellie who won't. stop. nagging.

"You are way too old."
"No one is interested in what you have to offer."
"No one knows you, so good luck with that."
"You don't have a degree, so you aren't good enough."

Crap like that.

I have started the process of finding 'traditional' employment in my field of fundraising and communications for non-profits - I am good at it, so why not?  But on the other hand, I am also working on developing my side hustle of being a content creator for websites, social media, and podcast production.

A really scary idea: launch my own business.  For reals.  Yikes.

But I have a few cheerleaders on my side of the field.  Not only Rachel, but also my pal, Shari. She is inspirational in so many ways, but in the case of this post, she has lived the life of a successful entrepreneur (own it, sister) for about a decade.  We have been supporting each, most recently, as accountability partners and she has been nudging me to jump into the pool of such risk-taking with both feet.

I don't know where this is going and that is totally fine. (Right, Rachel?) I am sharing this with you, dear reader, with hopes you will be motivated to find your tribe to help you find your truth because you gotta find those people who speak your language of intention to help you on your journey.  I don't believe it is a solo trip although there are moments when you must stand on your own two feet even if they are wobbly.

So the lesson learned today: I am failing my way to happiness because it is the true success in living directly. Who's with me?

(*)  I've decided to get public about that reality.  I am an entrepreneur and have been for years but didn't recognize/acknowledge it.  Thanks to those people who have helped me own it - you know who you are. 💓