Oprah-sized

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a big fan of personal development.  I pretty much only read that genre and have at least one box full of notes from all the books I have read over the years.

One thing that has come to mind, is the you-can-have-anything-you-want-as-long-as-you-visualize-it approach that comes up in many of the recommended approaches to it.  What really gets me is when I hear, "Well, Oprah did it. So can you."

Really?


What do you think the chances are that the world will have another Oprah?

Don't get me wrong: I am not a personal development naysayer.  I live to read the next new book that might teach me another approach to pursuing my dreams.  Some of my favorites are The Success Principles, Girl Wash Your Face, and Create A Life Worth Living - just to name a few.

I think what is missing out there are guides written by women over 40 for women over 40. I'll tell you, it is a different world out there for us babes who have been around the sun four decades plus. I went looking - using the Google search bar - for a 'the female version of Anthony Robbins' and that is how I discovered Rachel Holllis' podcast. I have learned about all kinds of resources and women making things happen.  I've been listening to it everyday as I take my walk and want to catch up to current day episodes.  I love what she is offering - so much wisdom. I encourage you to check it out.

Dreaming of big, audacious goals is a must.  It isn't like someone is going to come up to you in the mall and say, 'Hey! We are looking for a new talk show host on ABC.  Are you interested?'.  You have to figure out your dreams and then do some work to get there.  But my point is, how realistic and helpful is it to even think about the likelihood of hitting the out-of-the-ballpark kind of life experiences you dream about? How do you navigate disappointment and keep moving forward?

I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Boosters or Busters

I just finished reading the book - Brave, Not Perfect - and the timing was perfect (as all gifts from the Universe typically are, yes?). I was thinking about my self-confidence over the past few weeks as I transition into my next Big Adventure (more on that in another future post).

I had recent conversations with two people who I happen to be very close with.  In the first chat, I was sharing how confident I was feeling of late around my leadership skills.  I don't recall the particular details of what I was expressing, admittedly, but what I do remember was the person I was talking said something to the effect, 'well, don't forget about your bossy behavior.' If you have been reading my blog, you might recall some feelings I have about the "B-word" via my little rant about being called a bossy cow.

Needless to say, I was pissed off by that comment.

Later, in another conversation, I was sharing my insights about another set of skills that I am good at and I was told, 'you sure know how to brag'.

What gives? Is it not possible for a woman to be confident and vocal about her abilities?  I mean, I've never heard a guy called 'bossy' and I hear plenty of them telling the world - and anyone who is willing to listen- how good they are at...everything.

I am proud that I moved cross country, uncertain of what lay in waiting; I feel mighty good about taking last night's a baking class AND without taking a friend in tow; I feel good about letting my sparkle shine on my head (my natural hair color is now bright white).

These are just some of my recent accomplishments that I feel really good about.

I also have noticed for a very long time, the rarity of people giving each other public shout outs on social media.  I practice 'amplification' of women's accomplishments on Facebook and LinkedIn as often as I can.  Wouldn't it be something if more people did that?  I mean, what would the harm be?  There are plenty posts about complaining.  What if we posted a compliment instead? Okay, will it fix all the problems in the world? Not exactly. It is based in kindness and being kind can go a long way. But if you can rally to the occasion, the least you can do is not say something hurtful.  Deal?

And, if I happen to pass by you in conversation and you are sharing some insights about your talents, please be sure to put your hand out ... so I can give you a high five.

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Making the Leap #2

I've come to discover that life is often like a roller-coaster, or in a more accurate case, like the unpredictable spring weather in Rhode Island circa 2019. A couple of days ago, I almost turned on the heat because it was so cold and today, I may need to turn on my air conditioner because it is hitting about 80 degrees with what feels like 80% humidity.

I've settled in nicely in my new home in New England, and now the next big thing that demands my attention: what will be my next professional adventure? Earlier this month, I shared some of my insights as far as my thoughts on the matter, and today, I share another big decision with you:. I've decided to pursue growing my own small business of providing support on content creation.

First and foremost, I thank my dear friend, Shari Getz,  for inspiring me and urging me to take this leap. Shari has been an entrepreneur/business owner for many many years now. I often envied her courage to pursue that professional adventure, and of late, we have been talking about my doing the same. There is nothing more powerful and motivating than having a cheerleader like Shari.

I got to say, this was no easy decision!  I've been doing all kinds of side hustles over the years but never considered focusing my energy on growing a business from those efforts. For the past, I don't know, two decades I've always toyed with the idea of stepping out on my own, but lacked resources and confidence to pursue it. But now I'm at a place in my life where I do recognize the resources I do have access to in order to go for it.

I also want to thank Sally Handlon for our conversation today that helped me make this final decision to pursue this long-simmering dream to be a business owner.

I've been busy making new friends and building a new professional network here in Providence, and in the last few weeks, have submitted job applications for a variety of fundraising positions with some fantastic nonprofits in the area. But a variety of things have come up for me that caused me to pause and really look at all my options. I have come to the determination that I can better serve this important sector of community work by providing my guidance and support using my plethora of knowledge and expertise in pretty much all areas of the nonprofit world.

So, there you have it, my friends. If you have words of encouragement and ideas to access helpful resources, please send them my way by posting a comment below.  It will help me, tremendously.

Let the adventure begin!



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Failing Towards Happiness

I have a new BFF, although she doesn't know it yet.  I learned about the powerhouse that is Rachel Hollis somehow, someway, but I can't recall the initial introduction to her work in the world.

Most excellent podcast!

I put her book, "Girl, Wash Your Face: Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are so You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be", on hold at the library and once I received it,  I think I read in about 3 hours, tops.  I am now listening to her podcast, "Rise", and just listened to her episode about failure.  I am sure I will re-listen to it at least 37 more times because it is the elephant in my room these days.

I also watched a Tedx talk by Natalie Butto Wills about how problems fuel our creativity that leads to innovation.  I consider failure a bit of a problem, so I am getting creative about it!

Here's why.

As many of you know, I took big risk of moving to Providence, RI - sight unseen - and it has been an epic adventure over the past 7+ months.  I know I am still new to the city (and likely will be considered as such for at least the next ten years), but I feel that I have found my people and the vibe of the city resonates with me.

Me and Liam hitting the road

What I now face has to do with my livelihood (aka getting a new job).  This is a big one for me because of some real obvious reasons...I need to eat, pay my rent...that important stuff.  I also attach my professional life to my identity (or, vice versa).  It is as tightly wedged in there as how I feel about my place in the world as a mother, a friend, and being an entrepreneur (*).

I've been telecommuting for my job that I held in Portland, Oregon and although it makes sense to transition out of it for many wise reasons, I have attached a great deal of anxiety and fear about making that particular change in my life.  You know how it rolls, that damn Negative Nellie who won't. stop. nagging.

"You are way too old."
"No one is interested in what you have to offer."
"No one knows you, so good luck with that."
"You don't have a degree, so you aren't good enough."

Crap like that.

I have started the process of finding 'traditional' employment in my field of fundraising and communications for non-profits - I am good at it, so why not?  But on the other hand, I am also working on developing my side hustle of being a content creator for websites, social media, and podcast production.

A really scary idea: launch my own business.  For reals.  Yikes.

But I have a few cheerleaders on my side of the field.  Not only Rachel, but also my pal, Shari. She is inspirational in so many ways, but in the case of this post, she has lived the life of a successful entrepreneur (own it, sister) for about a decade.  We have been supporting each, most recently, as accountability partners and she has been nudging me to jump into the pool of such risk-taking with both feet.

I don't know where this is going and that is totally fine. (Right, Rachel?) I am sharing this with you, dear reader, with hopes you will be motivated to find your tribe to help you find your truth because you gotta find those people who speak your language of intention to help you on your journey.  I don't believe it is a solo trip although there are moments when you must stand on your own two feet even if they are wobbly.

So the lesson learned today: I am failing my way to happiness because it is the true success in living directly. Who's with me?

(*)  I've decided to get public about that reality.  I am an entrepreneur and have been for years but didn't recognize/acknowledge it.  Thanks to those people who have helped me own it - you know who you are. 💓