I hit a bit of a wall last night.
I had a video chat with my daughter, Lila, and left it feeling lonely and sad. Of course, the two of us will see each other again but the not knowing when is hitting me hard. Plus, she is struggling. She is isolated in Vermont with her father and step-mom. They are still working their jobs, off-site, which means Lila is home all alone. This hurts my heart. She is also struggling with the news is that she is not returning to school to finish out the year, but doing online learning to complete school. She finally got a lead in the play and now it has been cancelled. She understands that others are struggling with even more painful situations in response to this pandemic but I told her that her sadness should also be honored. My heart hurts because I can't be there to hold her as she cries.
As an extrovert, I feel energized by external energy - interacting with other people in person and being at events are key in feeding my joy. Not being able to that is going to be a struggle, so I am putting my ever-present thinking cap on to figure out how I can be in this new (temporary) normal.
At the time of this writing, I have 10 days left on my mandatory quarantine after returning from one of the most amazing trips to Barcelona. As it is for many people, I am trying to figure out how to be in this world with restraints. I am a very social person and thrive on being with people or being at events. This is a tough one for me to forgo. How do we live as 'business as usual' during extremely unusual times?
I started a morning practice a couple of years ago that includes writing, reflecting, meditating, and walking. Having that practice during this time is definitely helpful. I am also reaching out to people to set up video time so I can stay connected in some way. I am also writing a "Ideas" list that includes things like this:
1. Doing yoga once a week.
2. Start practicing those bluegrass songs to practice with Anne-Marie.
3. Write and send love letters to Lila, other family, and close friends.
I wake up early (still on Spanish time) and I get dressed for my day. It may even include putting on some red lipstick! I am also limiting my time on social media. It is overwhelming. I am producing my podcast, Artclectic New England, and just got off the phone with one of the staffers at Girls Rock Rhode Island. I left the conversation feeling reminded that all will be well. We will come out on the other side of this, no doubt. My hope is that I will be stronger and the world at large will be better in some way.
What I have witnessed is great kindness. My friend went food shopping for me. My landlord/neighbors shared a plate of food in celebration of St. Patrick's Day. When walking around the park, everyone waved and smiled to each other.
Share some of the things that you are doing during these days in the show comments. I'd love to hear your ideas! Maybe we can form a virtual band together. :-)
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