Being in one place for a long period of time is not my thing, not my schtick. It is not something I know and it isn't something that feels right to me.
I grew up moving all the time. We didn't stay anywhere for long and then I grew used to being a mover. New schools, new homes, new friends. That last thing did not come so easy, but I do recall making new friends along the way.
That was then and this is now. I was fortunate to purchase my very first house in 2010 and here I am, seven years later, in the same space. This is unprecedented and I'm not quite sure how I feel about it. I started feeling disenchanted with the city that I live in because I felt like Life popped me with a few sucker punches but I survived each one.
But the city that I swore was my own, felt like an out of date concert ticket. Living here feels faded and I feel disconnected.
Of course, the people I call True Friends are my True Family. They are my home. But how do you reconcile a driving need to leave? Am I running away or running to? What is it that I feel is missing and why do I feel like I need to hightail it out of the state that offers up pixie forests and salty ocean air?
I simply don't know that answer and I think, I believe, that it can be found somewhere else. But what if I am absolutely wrong?Wow. Apparently I have been thinking about this for some time. I've lived in Portland, Oregon for pretty much the past two decades (with a brief stint back in my home state of Pennsylvania). It was a spur of the moment decision to move here and then it became a home where I found my way to politics, activism, and community radio. It is where I became a mother. It is where I found my voice.
When I moved here in the mid-nineties, it was the original Big Adventure for me, and I have never regretted it for an instance. Not when I lost my job for the first time or that second time...had my heartbroken countless times...or after some schmuck broke into my house. No, those things are not pushing me to pursue a change of scenery. I just don't feel that this is my 'place' any longer and I long for adventure.
I have the privilege to sit in a peaceful backyard and contemplate the option to relocate across the country. I have the privilege to move to another state because of access to some resources many people don't have. But as I sit in this peaceful moment as Chet Baker shares his musical musings with me, I think about all the changes that are coming based on that decision that I made (now) 10 minutes and 3 weeks ago: I'm moving to Providence, RI as my Next Big Adventure!
My daughter has the opportunity to attend a magnificent school in New York call The Masters School. She will be boarding there as she attends high school. I am moving back East to be closer to her and selected Rhode Island because, well, I don't know why. I started looking at possible destinations like Richmond, VA and Baltimore, MD but once I discovered PVD, it kept speaking to my spirit of adventure that I thought was long buried.
Providence is the capital and most populous city of the U.S. state of Rhode Island and is one of the oldest cities in the United States.[6] It was founded in 1636 by Roger Williams, a Reformed Baptist theologian and religious exile from the Massachusetts Bay Colony. He named the area in honor of "God's merciful Providence" which he believed was responsible for revealing such a haven for him and his followers to settle. The city is situated at the mouth of the Providence River at the head of Narragansett Bay. It is also known as the "Creative Capital" and "PVD". Providence also shares Rhode Island's affinity for coffee, with the most coffee and doughnut shops per capita of any city in the country.[91] Providence is also reputed to have the highest number of restaurants per capita of major U.S. cities.
I have already connected with some folks who live there (thanks to Deborah, Kelly, and Jackleen!) and hopefully, it is the start of creating a new community of friends. In the meantime, I take on the huge heartfelt task of packing up my life and it has already proven to be a bit of an emotional ride. However, clearing out things that I no longer use to pass onto someone else to enjoy helps me feel lighter.
I have a lot of work to do. Not only am I saying goodbye to a former favorite sweater, I am also saying farewell to the nearest and dearest people in my life. I will be sharing bits of my journey along the way here on my blog and hope to also share stories on The Politics of Living.
Stay tuned.
No comments:
Post a Comment