Put A Cow On It

Recently, I was reminded of an interesting incident that happened quite a few years back.  I was in staff meeting at KBOO Community Radio and one of my colleagues called me a ‘bossy cow’.  My immediate response was, ‘who are you calling a cow?’ and following that meeting, I started to feel bad but then I turned that experience on its head by taking it in a different direction.

I was the station manager at the time and each month, I would prepare a little summary of what was happening the station for the monthly program guide.  Well, I decided to give myself a new title:  Princess Bossy Cow.  Another colleague joined in on poking fun at the insult by creating a logo and many more folks over gifted me with unusual gifts that had some kind of cow motif. 

Of course, that was not the first time I was told about one of my most “endearing” qualities. And, just this past week, I was told by another colleague, that I sounded bossy in my emails and she suggested that I might want to put things as questions instead of statements to stop sounding bossy.  My bossiness (aka directness) hadn’t gone away and people were, yet again, taking issue with it.

Sharing the experience on Facebook offered a variety of opinions and it was interesting to read the posts supporting and contesting the ‘suggestion’:

“I’d say it’s great that someone would bother to share that kind of concern with a colleague. Whether she’s right or not isn’t so much the issue….”

“You are not bossy, you are a leader.”

“It is a double standard and that it was a woman telling you this is disappointing. You should ask this colleague if she would make the same suggestion to a male colleague…

“I do better in the workplace when using a more feminine communication style, in writing and in person. But it makes me die a little inside…”

And, it got me to thinking: I am now on a new adventure.  A big one at that.  I moved across the country and have a brand spanking new clean slate to work with.  I can be anyone I choose to be, possibly even be less direct to make new friends.

Well, I think I will stick with who I am.

There’s always going to be a name to put on women like me – whether it be ‘bitch’, ‘bossy’, ‘nasty woman’ or an assortment of other labels that I prefer not to put in this post.  What if, instead, I push through it and turn THIS incident on its head and do something fun and clever with it. I’ll get back to you on that but this blog post is a good start. And, maybe, just maybe, the people on this planet will finally stop equating ‘direct woman as not being nice’ and instead say out loud: “Finally!  Someone who gets right to the point.”

So, all you bossy cows out there, let’s hear one big collective shout out of ‘here I am, so deal with it’. Nah, better yet, let’s simply moo.